And the nominee for biggest drunk is….

Posted: January 29, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Drunk, I leave an extra period on the ellipses. Ughh.

So, to enter a non drinking moment, I have been nominated for a Versatile Blogger Award! Oh god I hate exclamation points. Always feel like I’m being fucking yelled at. Either way, while the rule about spreading it reminds me oddly of late 90’s email chain letters (come on, who didn’t participate in one and then realize how fucking dumb they were?), I am rather excited about being recognized.

So, thank you to siohanthehack at for my nomination (did I do that right?). And here goes to the rules, and knowing me – FUCK THE RULES!

Now there is an exclamation point I can live by. For a quick side bar – if you like R&B, soul, and reggae, listen to some Fat Freddy’s Drop (shameless plug, although I’m not remotely connected to the band).

The Rules

1. Display the Award Certificate on your website

How the hell do I do this?


seems copy and paste works pretty fucking well, so let’s go with that.

2. Announce your win with a post and link to whoever presented your award

Kind of feel like I did that already; shouldn’t that have been number 1? Whatever, I’m confused almost all of the time any-damn-way.

3. Present 15 awards to deserving bloggers

Now this is fucking tough, especially since I don’t even know how to link shit (and don’t tell me to google, I know how to do that pretty damn well – I found a heroin dealer over the internet once, a weed and coke dealer too (although the coke guy ended up ripping me off by selling me some fucking baking powder in a public place so I couldn’t do anything about it (dick))).

Alright, here goes:

1. I like it, he does some funny shit, talks about it honestly. What’s not to dig? Good writer too.

2. Reminds me of my days in college (or uni, but whatever) except from a female perspective (i mistyped that word 5 fucking times – booze coming on hard).

3. Now this mother fucker writes the shit I wish I could be doing if not for undisclosed things I will not disclose and don’t fucking ask me again to do it! Of course I will eventually… emoticons suck or I would place one here.

4. I dig his poetry – real, deep and expressive of emotions that I feel regularly (and shut down with booze almost as regularly).

I don’t think I have anymore. I’m also getting drunker by the moment and fixing all my mistypes is taking up a lot of time.

4. Drop them a comment to tip them off after you’ve linked them in the post

Really? Fuck off. Ok, I’ll do it, but it will be in a dickish manner that these comments arrive.

5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself.

Well this is a blast, since I just drink and confess upon the interwebs taint, let’s rock:

  1. I play the following instruments (never said well): guitar (12 string getting close to exclusive in open D tuning), trumpet, piano, bass guitar; I also spin turntables like a fool.
  2. Another interesting fact?!?!? Come on! Oh that’s a good one, I apparently sound like Gob from Arrested Development. I’ve heard this from numerous sources, some who only call me Gob.
  3. I’m running out of interesting things – can we ask someone else? Guess not, but whatever, that counts as one.
  4. I got a dui while sleeping in my car.
  5. Is that last one even interesting?
  6. Neither was that, but I told you I’d be dickish, so don’t hate
  7. I love funk music and reggae music. I have several tattoos dedicated to them; I also have some pirate tattoos from my childhood. I loved pirates (still do) – not the new kind, the real kind, like Blackbeard (Edward Teach) and shit.

Look at that, I passed. Well, don’t know that yet, just know that I followed the rules to an extent I was willing to.

Now to drink more, write more about how I got here – oh yea, if you’re reading this (shameless plug incoming), I have decided to write a tale of how I arrived at where I am today – a solo drinking drunk (what?!?!?!?) writing his life out.






  1. I thought my comment was great. Thanks again mate.

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